Bond. Jane's Bond.

Well, I have arrived.

I get a call not unlike those from James Bond movies every 4 or 5 hours telling me to go home, and then never mind - stay here. No, go home. Never mind stay here. They explain nothing. Sometimes just "Don't go. We'll call in an hour with more details." and then they're gone. I think next time they call, I'm going to ask them to call me by my code name- Jane. Maybe that's a bad idea. Paranoia is starting to settle in, and I don't want to be voted off the island just yet. Not before I eat a decent meal and buy a suitcase full of souviners.

Strike pending, I hesitate to go too far today. Besides, the weather is shit, and my feet are bludgeoned much like I'd imagine the native's feet all look. Brutal. Strong calves though. I make a game of trying to out speed-walk them. Usually, I'm successful- my mother's always been a fast walker- but occassionally, I'll come across someone that blows me out the water. Supersonic footware made of blubber or some shit. I've been studying it- and I know for certain that a long stride or long legs have nothing to do with winning the speed walk competitions. Flashing 'Do Not Walk' signs do make you walk faster like the yellow lights make your right foot feel heavy. Black messenger bags might be the key. I think having a purpose is pretty important too- like running late for work.

Here is a list of some of the nice things that New Yorkers have done for me:
1- the door guy that blew the whistle for my cab to work yesterday, ran back inside the hotel to retrieve an umbrella he insisted on me taking. Total cost: 5 bucks
2- the waitress in the sushi bar last night ran after me down the street to return the denim shirt I'd left behind. Tip total: 5 bucks
3- I've also received many thank you's and have a nice days at the expensive hotel I'm staying at.

Conclusion: New York people are really very nice. I don't understand quite where this bad rap came from.

E-mail: hschauf@yahoo.com with a street address and recieve a cool new york card!!!! (Please write)