personal pan costa nostra:'wet and declassified'
The fuzzy weekend head is getting it's water weight back slowly this morning, and a few people in the office have made allussions to the space cadet eyes I'm making. My brother's right, the wine will make me unemployed; homeless. The rot is undeniably there. The presence of absence... that is the rot.

INTERVIEW WITH A CASKET SALESMAN GOES SOMETHING LIKE THIS:
We were just eating breakfast next door at Cindees and saw the sign open to the public and thought we could look around??? (It's 1:30 in the afternoon...hello! HANGOVER!)
Well okay, we sell caskets to those people who have a need, are you in the market to purchase a casket or.....?
No...no... well, not at this time
Well, we take those people through showroom who have a need or a loved one with a need.
Absolutely, I undersand. I shake my head yes, looking back at him heavily.
I am believing at this point that he is turning us away, denying me the satisfaction of my curiosity. His gaze is solid, the corners of his mouth do not turn up or down, nor will they for the remainder of the interview. In retrospect, he probably believed I was stoned.
Sure, let me show you the back.
Thanks Damn these people in the death business are hard as fuck to read. He leads me into a room filled with caskets. I comment on the gentle lighting- it's just so perfectly soft for crying under.
So, do these seal up airtight?
Not exactly airtight. The seal is there, but of course over time the a rubber seal will deteriorate. Besides that, even though the casket is lowered into a vault, the weight of the dirt will often crush the casket.
I see. What is the vault made out of?
Various materials really. Some higher priced vaults might be made of steel, others concrete. Vaults are cemetary regulated, it's not an adherance to any law.
Oh really. And these pieces right here (a cloth that hangs to separate the closed lit right side from the open left), they are removed for the burial?
Yes and these side flaps fold in.
And is it true that people aren't buried in their shoes.
No, often times they are.
So, do coffins come in different sizes... you know for kids?
Well, I know what you're talking about, but no we don't sell them here. They are all a standard 6'1 size.
And can you do customizations?
Sometimes, someone might take the top to an engraver and have something added that reflects the deceased's interests, but it's very expensive, and we don't do that here. We sell caskets to the public for much cheaper than they would buy them for at a funeral home. Most people don't realize that they can go with a casket from retailer, thinking either that they have to go with the funeral home's selection, or else don't have the energy to shop for discounted rates.
I can imagine that someone grieving would just want to get it over with. Thank you by the way for doing this. I can't imagine walking into a place like this for the first time after dealing with the death of a loved one. So, I see this store open a lot, you must work a lot of hours.
We're open 6 days a week, 10 hours a day, and by appointment as well. When you need a casket, you need one right away.
Sure. So, do people usually come in here with one other person or two...
Well, believe it or not, it's very cultural. Anglo people tend to come in here with maybe one or two other people, but black and hispanic families often come in with their children, and the whole extended family. Often times families have to share the financial burden of the funeral costs, and so everyone is a part of the decisions.
So, do you notice many trends on when people die, by when people come in?
Yes, actually the winter months and the early spring.
The winter because of the holidays?
Perhaps that plays a part, but really because of the weather during those times, there are more accidental deaths.
So you've seen some people come in pretty devestated, I mean a complete wreck. That must be hard.
People grieving, and people making funeral preparations for themselves with their loved ones. People who would like to handle the burden for themselves instead of waiting until after they're gone to have it settled. In such cases as these, we have a storage area where we can hold the casket until there is a need.
And do you deliver the casket to the funeral home then?
Yes, we deliver the caskets free of charge to the funeral home of your choice.
(this is good, because I am imagining at this point a man in a big hat carting a casket down I-75 in the back of his dodge ram pick up truck.)
So how much does a funeral cost?
Well, the lowest end funeral costs could be about 3,000 and all the way up to whatever you want to spend. John Gotti's casket was inlaid with 18 carrat gold and is said to have cost $40,000. (at this point I see that this man is getting a bit excited, but the corners of his mouth STILL do not turn up) I can show you a replica....
Have you ever sold one?
No, not here. (his eyes cool down again)
Really however, the big costs are associated with the plot. Some of those get rather pricey, and some cemetaries are so full and you can no longer get plots in them.

The conversation trails off to a handshake and business card.
The walk through the casket store is pretty much complete, and I've run out of questions. The casket guy and I have to hunt down Mike who's digital camera is snapping away at the dark recesses of casket store corners, and then peel Alberto away from the facinating reading material distinctive to casket store waiting rooms, and everyone left happy.