8.29.2005

Victory

'But what does that mean? ‘W’? What does it stand for?" Chris questions out loud. There is suspicion and defense inflected in the ‘W’.

“You know God damned well and good what the ‘W’ stands for, now shut up and bask in the shrine to consumerism and our great leader guy.”
I never talk to him like this. Especially after he’s agreed to driving out to Grapevine to spend his Sunday off with my parents.

At first Chris didn’t understand my hostility toward ‘Victory Station’ but then, he isn’t privy to the smart rush hour traffic flow like I am. His shifts start at 6am, or 2pm. At these times of the day, it’s hard to grasp what a truly modern highway engineering marvel the 35 and Woodall Rogers freeway really is. Really. Maybe that's the Dallas City Councils excuse too.

‘I mean, shouldn’t we build the infrastructure to support this mess and THEN build this monster?’ I say.
‘They did pave the road.’ He notices.

I’m sure the rest of Dallas is buzzing with talk of our city’s ‘newest urban setting’…another incredible place to eat, booze, and urinate after a long evening of sports spectatorship. Just looking forward to this ‘round the clock destination’ ‘inviting everyone in the district to enjoy its street-side shops and lounges’. Really just inviting everyone.

Everyone.

8.23.2005

So, I've gotten a new GI penpal out of Afghanistan- a man I once worked with before they called him (a reservist) in.

Below is some exerpts of conversation:
It's wierd- I guess I want the US to 'win'... when do they say that you've won? What has to happen or stop happening?
As far as winning: We are just trying to defeat the radicals who are bent on
destroying our way of life. The radicals hate us. They hate the way we live.
They want the world to enslave women. I could go on for hours on the rules they
want women to follow. They want all media outlawed. To listen to music is a sin
to them. No singing and even no laughing or joy in public. Most sporting events
would be against the law. They hate us so much they have said that they have
come up with a way to execute us. They want to torture you by cutting your eyes
out then slicing your mouth open and then after you have suffered for a time
they will cut your tongue out and then behead you. This has been the standard
story I have heard by many towns people. I even have spoke with a Pakistani
woman who told me the same thing. Most of these people do like us and only want
to live in peace. They believe that those treatments are only for those who are
not Muslims and who invade their homeland. Only the Pakistani woman spoke from
her own personal beliefs. It was strange to hear her explain to me just like a
normal conversation about anything pleasant how she hated me and my way of life.
I was a little stunned to be honest. Like I said I had heard of these feelings
but always from someone telling me about how the others (radicals) felt. Most
here blame most of it on the Pakistanis. It was funny that confirmed what they
were saying. Those here blame most of the violence on the Paki's. They say the
Paki's want war because it is time for Pakistan to give back land given to them
by the British in a treaty around 50-60 years ago. They are scheduled to give it
back but most here don't believe they ever will. Like I've said these people do
not think like us. I think most here know that we are only here to help them run
their own country. We only want to help them live how they want by there own
rule as long as it is in peace with us. I think most want that. When we can
render the ones who want this peace enough control of their own country to
control the radicals then we will have won this "war". We are not far off the
mark now. We (as the American people) only have the resolve to see this through
we can accomplish this task. Even if not so at least we are keeping pressure on
them here which helps keep them from plotting to strike again at our soil. I
have noticed there has not been another major attack in the U.S. These people
had labeled us an easy target. We had lax borders and invoked the largest media
coverage of any nation. We were easy targets because our way of life is
completely opposite of what they say is necessary. But most importantly we had
"proven" to them by some of our most recent actions (before 9-11) that we had no
stomach for a fight and when directly confronted we (as Americans) have short
memories and low tolerance for loss of life. I have been told by many they NEVER
expected us to last this long. It was completely opposite from what they thought
of us. You have to understand 80-85% of these people are illiterate. They only
know what they are told and most of the history they know is of their own
country and recent world events. They know very little of WWII or really of
Korea. They know some of Vietnam and of the Gulf War (although for some reason
it is ignored) but they quote from Somalia and of the attack at Yemen
immediately after we withdrew troops from those areas. They still think that if
they kill a bunch of us in one area we will leave here and hide in the confines
of our own borders where they will terrorize us out of our way of life. Sad but
it does not reflect our true nature. They misunderstand our history. We do have
a low tolerance for loss of life which is a good thing in my opinion. We should
never lose soldiers for a unsuitable cause. It's terrible those events (such as
Somalia and Yemen) were mistaken for weakness. But in spite of the fact. I think
this simple (even though costly) show of resolve has had a huge impact on our
home security. It is not to say that we will never be attacked again but at
least now in the back of their minds in every aspect of it they will wonder
whether (or hopefully) they will know that we will chase them voraciously. To
the actual bombers it matters little because they know their fate upon the
completion of their mission. But others are not that committed. The Planners and
organizers do not expect the same fate. Nor did the ones who tried to harbor
them. The only problem now is other nations like Pakistan, although they are
afraid and cooperating to some extent, are comforted by the thought that right
now with both Iraq and Afghanistan going on we are stretched to thin to do the
same there. Maybe they are right. Maybe they are wrong. Regardless of which if
we show that we are resolved and will not go down easily they will continue to
target easier targets. That is the core of guerrilla warfare. To hit and cause
the most damage with the least amount of casualties on your side. They cannot
afford high casualties because there are not enough of them to support that.
There method is to come into a village and take military age men and force them
to fight and threaten villagers to give them weapons food and ammo. In a
guerrilla war they have to have the support of the locals. They are losing that
support. As more begin to trust that we will stay and protect them they tell us
when these marauders come and when to expect them back. That in itself shows
they don't like the radicals. We do not threaten them for information. Once that
is fully rooted that will be a major step in winning this "war".

Man I feel like I am writing a book. Sorry.

Mid-September I fly home to visit Alex. Hong Kong is not home. Alex is.

There are still little pockets in the underbelly of this city, of Dallas, where I rarely go anymore…where they ask me about him. A darkness loiters those spaces even in the day, though I pretend that it is more and more invisible to me, and it barely exists at all anymore. I’ve wondered if it has always looked the same. I can’t remember. The night people that laid there are all played out of it, having taken up better lies to bury themselves into; I am a morning person again, and so our paths never cross.

Alex was a night person and morning person both- a man obsessed and transendent of time. A tiny belly-less budda with a chuckle that honked like a semi trailer, and compassion enough to fill that dank womb….until the end, when his eyes got flat and then he asked me to help him roll up his clothes and pack out. He asked me to marry him, but he couldn’t make me understand. Some people in the underbelly were mad at me for that, and they called me an idiot when I fell apart and he was gone.

So, in September I fly home to visit Alex. Today’s fortune cookie reads ‘You will soon bring joy to someone’, and I cannot wait for the New Moon Festival when I see my friend.