"Hi Heather, this is Mom.
The number for Ann Jennings is xxx-xxxx and I think she still makes cakes.
Jill Howard's number is xxx-xxx, if she doesn't answer, just leave a message.
She's pretty good about calling people back.
If you need anything else, just give me a call."

The strange thing is, the voice was not my mother's. This woman has a sweet Texas accent though that tells me she probably knows how to make light fluffy biscuits and hosts scrapbooking parties. She calls from a 903 area code repeatedly, but ever since that message, shes never left another voicemail.

Once I tried to call her back, but I got an 'All circuits are busy, please call again later", so, I think she lives waaaaayyy out in the boonies. I refer to her as 'my fake mom', as in: 'Hey Mindy, my fake mom tried calling again today.' 'Again?'

I try to imagine how this little scenario came into being:

How could someone think they could just fake being my mom? Especially, with that crrrrazy Texas accent!! I mean come on! It's a dead faker give away. Faker! Faker Mom! YOU'RE NOT MY MOMMY!
or
How could a woman roughly my age pass off a bad phone number to her mother of all people? How did she find another number for another Heather roughly her age to pass off as herself? This Heather is a real bitch. One mom is enough for me, and she's supposed to get off mom-free?
or
Have I been given a new mom by some sort of new mom fairy?
or
Is this some sort of crazy marketing ploy carefully constructed to find out my personal information and preferences by staging a call from a 'fake Texas mom'?
Sweety, I'm going to the store to buy some chips. Tell me again what are your favorite kinds of chips Honey? Doritos? Would that be the Spicy Nacho, Nacho, Cool Ranch, Dorito's Dip Chips, or Regular Corn?'
or
Maybe I'm expected at two houses for Thanksgiving this year.
Maybe I'll get double the Christmas presents.
Maybe this fake mom idea is really starting to grow on me.