Interview with a carnieI’ve never actually attended the fair, because of the crowds, but the pre-fair setup was wide open on Sunday. I got a chance to experience the fair without all the lazy moving crowds, without all the loud ride noises, or the high-way robbery booths with the stuffed animal farmers. It was an agoraphobics dream come true. I told everyone with a security shirt on what a good time I was having, thanking a bit too much even. They’d smile and wave me on.

No lines in the parkway. Everything calm except for the sound of wrenches tightening bolts on rides, the moving of poisonous snakes, the building of little prefab greenhouses, and the soft sweeping of leaves. Security stood everywhere in clearly defined stations. This one guarded the dismantled Big Tex, another guarded the park way to direct and instruct the builders, another watched the swan shaped paddle boats to make sure no body got any funny hijacking ideas (I was filled with ideas.)

My favorite part of the fair, was laying on my back at the bottom of the faris wheel, watching the sun go down behind it. Then I got to interview, a carnie. Sort of. Skinny little man with a long grey beard.

Hi.
Hiya.
Does this ride belong to you?
Oh no, I’m just the mechanic on this ride. This ride actually belongs to a man who owns roughly 20 of the rides here in the kiddie park at the state fair.
Do you operate the ride too, and pack and unpack it?
No, there are different guys that do that. Call ‘em carnies. I just work on the mechanics:wi-ring and whatnot.
So, is this your specific ride that you’re accountable for, or are you accountable for all the rest or some of the other rides?
There are about three other guys that are mechanics like me, and we work on all of these here. They’re pretty much the same central arm mechanics. This one here (he point’s to a small kiddie ride with flying pink elephants who’s ears probably flap) is about a ‘53 or ’54 model mechanics with brand new cars on it.
And what about safety rules?
Oh, we have lots of those. See that orange tag there?
The one attached to the exposed wires in the center of the ride?
Yeh- that’s done by the State Fair of Texas Inspector.
And why is it sitting in a pool of water?
That’s on accounta all the rain we’ve had.
(pause)
The State Fair of Texas is the safest fair in the US though.
So, where does your boss get these rides?
That’s funny you ask. Kinda interesting. All the rides in the park pretty much started out being built and used in Italy. The Italians make some beauties. See that ride over there? (pointing to a ride shaped like a line of semi-trucks that move along a track) That one is the only completely electrical ride in the park. Zamperla, the maker, see the name on the truck up there, has been trying to buy it back from my boss for years, but he won’t sell it.
Italian huh? They are beautiful.
Yeah. See, they start out in some park in Italy for about 3 or 4 years, and then someone buys them and brings them over here. They spend another 3 or 4 years here and then go down to Mexico for a little while longer, and then even further south to Columbia or wherever. That’s when they get really scary.
(3-4 years my ass. Try adding another 6 or 7 years to each stop I’m thinking.)
I won’t even ride them here. What sort of insurance does your boss pay?
I wouldn’t have no idea about that ma’m. But you better believe they’ve got it. Probably some sort of bulk rate.
Have you ever seen anything…you know pretty bad happen? I mean I’m not saying I’d assume it was ever your fault, but…”
No ma’m not for as long as I’ve been here. But I think they just finally settled what happened on the Skyride…must’ve been 7, 8 years ago now.
Skyride? What’s the Skyride?
You don’t remember that? No? Well it was one of them cable cars that went across the top of the park. One of them cables snapped and there was one person at least, dead. Lots a people hurt. Guess they just now settled it ‘cause those people and the insurance companies try to you know, drag it out. I think they hope people will just want to settle and be done with it. Everybody’s just looking to sue somebody anymore, sad.
So did you always do this job?
No, ma’m I got this job as an accident. I came here to the fair wantin’ to be like a custodian or something, and I seen all these people huddled around a trailer. I told ‘em I wanted a job pushin’ a broom or somethin’. They told me they didn’t have nothing like that but if I wanted to learn to fix rides…Learned from the best. I’ll tell you one thing though, every time you move a ride, you’re bound to leave something behind, but you think, awe shucks, it’s just one little bolt. I got to thinkin’ the other day though about that…hell I’ve probably said that to myself at least twenty times about that ride over there. (Crazy laughing)
(Laughing too) Kind of the same phenomena when I go camping and loose my stakes. Pretty soon there aren’t any stakes left.
Yep.
How much do these rides cost?
I wouldn’t know that ma’m. The Indyana down there though is a good-sized ride, and I know that cost about 2 million. My boss bought that one in Germany, and he watched them take it down once, and he took good notes and pictures. We flew in a guy from Germany to run that ride this year, and he was pretty upset about the condition of it ya know? It’s like his bay-be. I do know my boss makes about 3 or 4 million gross at the Fair in just 3 weeks ttime. He’s got ‘bout 150 employees working for him.
Wow.
Yep, and see those booths right there?
Those are the booths were they rope you into gambling and winning toys and shit right?
Yep, that and food. Those cost about 25,000 to rent for three weeks, and you have to pay a year in advance. There’s a waiting list too, so if you sit out one year, you won’t get back in unless somebody retires or dies. (Crazy laugher)
So, do you travel from place to place?
No. I work two or three gigs a year. The rest of the time I’m restorin’ rides. Some guys though that work for other companies, they’re all over the place. Entire eastern seaboard and stuff….

After our talk, I walked around and really looked at the rest of the rides in the park. Beautiful hand painted ride and fun house facades from all over the world, but mostly Germany for the larger rides, and Italy for the smaller ones. Makes me wonder what them guys State Fair of Texas looks like.