This office job does have my brain going indeed.
Thinking long and hard about what a truly LONELY experience grocery shopping is. Surprisingly, taking a buddy along with you only makes the trek twice as long by necessitating consensus on each purchase, and thereby extending the terrible over-all- lonely florescent experience. I advise that next time you shop, you leave the safety of your trance or magazine study to stare at the community amongst you.. You’ll see that every one of them is incredibly depressed. I think you’ll also find that there’s probably just one piece of fruit between all of them, which leaves me to the silver lining and proof that the baby Jesus loves us. The silver lining is that since all of us only buy food that never goes bad anymore, that means we don’t have to go to the grocery store and be lonely very often anymore either. We can do more things that we love, like watch TV and order take out. As Peter says ‘It doesn’t get much better than this.”

My last visit to Kroger was just 2 days ago. There were only two human checkers, and four busy self service check-outs. The only people in human clerk lines were people that were reconstructing their entire pantries There was one guy that had a small basket and preferred to wait in the long line with the rest of us, but he had a small twitch and bulging eyes and was an obvious technophobe. He was staring at the others like I was, and eves dropping on the rather nice small talk I was making with my distressed checker. Maybe I was doing something wrong.