Pumpkin.
The story of a sorority girl who falls shamefully in love with a mentally retarded boy.

Christina Ricci barely passes as a plausible sorority girl, which makes the story line almost convincing. In the end, the pain she experiences has graced her with depth and the respect of all her peers. The underlying message that the director conveys must be: mentally handicapped persons are emotionally compatible with sorority girls if given a little chance to win them over. This, I believe like the world is round.

I tell Peter about the time when I was set up with a retarded guy, by my very own lion-hearted mother, who has a notorious affection for underdogs. As a highschool girl that hung out with the 'dark siders' and punk rockers, I was horrified of course. But being the obedient repectful child I was, I needed a crafty excuse for to be discharged from the whole socially scarring experience. In the end, I think I convinced her that with the age difference it could be ultimatly categorized as statutory rape and sternly frowned upon by the rigid and heartless folks at Child Protective Services. Alas, I heard nothing more of it.

I still don't know what my mother told her best friend, Roz who wanted her son to experience a full life including dating...because knowing that the issue was in wash was all I needed for resolution and inner peace. Time, meds, and therapy heal all wounds, but the attraction and allure of dating retards lasted well into my twenties.

As mother reads this, she mumbles...'...put it in the book titled 'Mommy Dearest'.